Attached where it counts...

Once upon a time, parents fell into two categories:

Good parents, with well-behaved, happy kids
Bad parents, with obnoxious bratty kids

However, in this age of labeling, these descriptions no longer suffice. Parents are no longer defined by their children's behavior and happiness. That's fallen by the wayside, because now being a "good" mom, isn't good enough.

Are you a Ferber mom? A Sears mom? An attached parent? Do you co-sleep, cry it out, or follow the No cry sleep solution to the letter? Who cares what your individual baby actually responds to, these camps are pitted against each other, hurling words like "abusive", "abandonment", or "bad habit building" back and forth, unwilling to compromise.

-Ferber stresses independence in young babies, the idea that they need to self-soothe.
-Sears promotes co-sleeping, and responding to baby to help build trust and confidence.
-Happiest Baby on the Block describes the "fourth trimester", a period of time after birth where recreating a womb-like environment serves to relax and calm the baby.
-The Baby Whisperer promises to get baby on the EASY (Eat, Activity, Sleep, You) schedule from early on.
-Attachment Parenting encourages baby to be in constant physical contact with mom, day and night.

After three weeks, Frederic and I have noticed the following: None of these things work. Our baby hates swaddling, a Happiest Baby technique, but loves being held close in a sling, the weapon of attachment parents. None of us slept well with baby in our room (Sears), but we can put him down (even awake) in his crib in his own room (Ferber) and get lots of good sleep. And the so-called EASY schedule isn't as easy as it sounds when baby is breast-fed on demand, and doesn't always want to eat first and play after.

After three weeks of baby boot camp, I'm convinced there is only one type of good parent: the instinctive parent. Frederic and I are far from perfect, Eliot still cries, I still change his diaper at the wrong time and get showered with #1 and #2. But Eliot, I know, will grow up happy, knowing he is loved. I don't tote him in his sling every hour of the day, but he will never feel abandoned.

We are attached where it counts... at the heart.